Ballard of Ballad Bear

They said that the bear was lonely
He had lost all even his home
I tend to think he was just bored
And that’s why he always roamed

How else can you explain Ballard?
Or even Fremont for that matter
I mean sure there are garbage cans
Lots of which he could scatter

But the influx of young yuppies
Cat people I am pretty certain
They couldn’t handle a black bear
Much less a very large puppy

The Lochs would be so inviting
With all the salmon lining up
Swinging by old Woodland Park
Growling at a cousin "what sup"

What if the two of us switched places?
Where would I go? How would I survive?
Wander in this town with no faces
Or head to the wilderness to stay alive


I would have walked north to Lynwood
Where the mullets would help hide
A t-top Camaro or a van
Might stop and offer a ride

Hang a right at Alderwood
Mosey up on Interstate five
Stopped off on Quil Ceda Avenue
And on black let it all ride

My pockets a little fatter
I head out for the Skagit valley
Walk through some fields of tulips
Eating berries too many to tally

I make it across the border
Canada she embraces me
Because I don’t want to fight
And never been convicted of a felony

I wait in line to see my doctor
And ask for a lifetime prescription
Government grown honeycomb
Takes care of all my afflictions